is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
