My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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