Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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