would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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