He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
