So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
