how can u be prego again
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
