Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
