Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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