I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
