I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
