I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize