I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
