It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she pinky promised me she was 18
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
