Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
