Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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