Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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