marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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