Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Im part way to drunk.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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