you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
