I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
