You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
