I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
sick fucks of a feather flock together
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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