I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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