Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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