Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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