Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
