"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
