At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
