I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
