Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize