Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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