Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
