Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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