so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize