But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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