Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
