It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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