we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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