in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
