doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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