She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
