Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize