Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
