Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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