I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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