She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
