I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
