Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize