yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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