I got chris browned last night
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
