Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
