..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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