$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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