My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize