i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
