Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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