Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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