I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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