we're blogging at a bar
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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