No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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