That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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