Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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