i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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