found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
