2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
