if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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